Thursday, January 12, 2012

Very Pun Give-Away

I get such joy in sharing my quilting addiction with other people.  I've been so very (well, kind-of) good about not buying much fabric lately that I can use this month's fabric budget to pay for postage to mail prizes all over the world!!!

I arbitrarily picked January 25th as the date that I would select winners for my give away as it is the birthday of the venerable Harley Dude, a date I was unlikely to forget.

Besides being a great dad, my Dear Husband Harley Dude (...ok, that's often can does your title and nickname combine to be a palindrome?)...uh...where was I...oh yes!  DH,HD is a renowned pun-master.

To qualify for prizes, you must submit as your entry, a very funny pun as a comment on this post.  Did you sleep through English class?  By definition, a pun is "a humorous use of a word in such a way to suggest two or more of it's meanings, or the meaning of a word similar in sound."

The only clean jokes I know are actually puns.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?  Dam.
Two peanuts walk into a bar.  One was a salted 
A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm.  He says "I'll have one for me, and one for the road". 
A rope walks into a bar.  The bartender says "we don't serve your kind, now get out."  He goes outside, twists himself into a knot and then fluffs up his loose ends.  He returns to the bar.  The bartender says "Hey! Aren't you a rope??"  to which he replies "Nope...a frayed knot."

Each day from now until January 24th, I will read the entries to DH,HD.  His favorites entries of the day will be entered into a good-old-fashioned-pieces-of-paper-drawing for the very cool prizes (which I'm about to tell you about).   I will announce the winners bright and early (Mountain Time) on January 25th before I go to work.  One entry per person.

One my favorite quilt bloggers is Frauke at Quilthexle's World.    I find her style of piecing very inspirational. Recently she seems to have become addicted to dying fabric.  This is phenomenally good news for all of us.  There are gorgeous dyed fabrics available in her etsy shop.  She has put together a set of beauty just for us!! The pieces are hand dyed from upcycled damask fabric.  There are 4 pieces in the set, sized about 21"x 32".  Be sure to check out her other fabrics and projects.     

Renae Allen, in addition to being a wonderful person, is the reason that I am learning to Free Motion Quilt (FMQ) on my home machine.  I've known Renae about 20 years as friend-of-a-friend.   I could fill an entire page with "nice quilty things Renae has done for me".  But in May...she let me FMQ on her machine.   The good news is that I discovered that most of my FMQ issues were resolvable with a new foot for my machine....well, that and a good dose of confidence.  Renae has created an entire FMQ practice concept with a combination of videos, pamphlets and  pre-printed practice panels.   Renae looks at traditional quilt patterns and considers multiple ways to quilt them.  She has offered the Design Builder's Package  from her website as a prize for the Pun give-away.This includes the book, DVD and the fabric panel shown in the video above.   BUT WAIT!  That's not all.  She is doing a bonus give away.  If you answer a question on her blog, you are eligible for an additional prize. Post your answer on her blog to one of the following questions: What is your worst free motion quilting (FMQ) disaster?OR What is your greatest FMQ challenge? She's giving extra chances to win the bonus if you follow her blog.    Enter puns on this blog,  FMQ stories on hers. 

I have 3 prizes from my stash: 
I met these authors at the May 2011 Quilt Market.  Colleen uses paper piecing to make those intricate, seeming impossible medallions.  Donna's flip method makes intricate piecing simple.  Both of my autographed copies will be sent to one lucky winner who will hopefully USE them instead of just admire them as I did.  

And for those of you who like smaller projects, an autographed copy of Gudrun's book on table runners plus Elissa & Heather's bag patterns that include full size applique patterns (I was all excited about skipping the copy-shop step).  

I carefully laid these batik charm squares from my stash out for a picture, then after they were stacked up,  discovered that I didn't have the memory card in.  You'll just have to trust me that they are gorgeous in shades of blue, purple, green, pink & yellow.  There are 103 squares of all different batik fabrics (no repeats). 

So that's it.  5 prize packages.  To enter, add your favorite pun as a comment on this post. 


shannon said...

i have only one (as my others favorites you already posted):

What do you call twin policemen?


Ella said...

What do you call the short fortuneteller who escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.

How many do you want? (I teach 6th graders. The puns abound.)

Quilting "b" said...

This is my pun and here is mine:

A man walks into a doctor's office and asks the doctor to inspect his leg. The man says, "Here, put your ear to my knee."

The doctor puts his ear to the man's knee and hears very faintly, "Come on, can I have five bucks, just five bucks?"

The doctor steps back in horror, and the man says, "I know, but it gets worse. Put your ear to my shin." The doctor puts his ear to the man's shin and hears very faintly, "Come on, can I have ten bucks, just ten bucks?"

Once again, the doctor stands up, very perplexed. The man then says, "If that surprises you, put your ear to my ankle." The doctor puts his ear to the man's ankle and hears oh so faintly, "Come on, can I have twenty bucks, just twenty bucks?"

The doctor then stands up and says, "Well, I can I make just one conclusion. Your leg is broke in three places."


Linda said...

Here's my pun...It was an emotional wedding, even the cake was in tiers!!

robin said...

Why didn't the lobster share?

It was shellfish. ;)

Dannelle said...

It wasn't school I disliked it was just the principal of it....

Charming's Mama said...

Come in if your nose is clean, if its not, slide under the door!

Ethne said...

Oh Marjorie you have been planning this for quite a while - thank you

A pun for you then - They arrested the hock shop owner for indecency--he was selling pawnographic materials

Pippa Parsons said...

heheh here's one I'm hoping your DH might like, mine does and he's a fellow biker :)

When people first heard of ABS, it was braking news

Lisa Marie said...

A lion tamer is walking a lion around downtown New York when he gets a call on his cell phone from the big cat's owner. The owner is on the observation deck of the Empire State Building, and wants the tamer to bring the lion up so it can see the city.

On the ride up in the elevator, the animal becomes frightened, and attacks the tamer, mauling him severely.

When they get off, the owner says to the tamer: "Boy, you look awful!"

The tamer replies: "I'll tell you one thing, chief, I'm not taking this lion down!"

Jen said...

A man walks into a bar. And says "ouch."

Great giveaway Marjorie ;)

Lynne said...

The maths professor droned on and on.
"...And so, two negatives make a positive but two positives can never make a negative."
From the back of the lecture hall a voice said sarcastically, "Yeah, right!"

Sallie said...

After careful planning, a thief in Paris stole paintings from the Louvre, and made it safely to his van.
He was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.
When asked how he could mastermind such a crime yet make such an obvious error, he replied, “Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.” Thanks for the giveaway!

Salley said...

There was the quilter who sent 20 different puns to AA and DHHD, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.

Salley said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
MoeWest said...

I like store names that are puns. There is a furniture store in Vancouver, BC called "Sofa So Good".

Liz - "Moments" said...

I am Sew happy your having this giveaway...I am busting in stitces reading all the jokes!

Georgina said...

This is too daft but has been in my life since I was about six years old!

Why did the beach bawl (ball)
Because the sea wee-ed (weed)


Benta At SLIKstitches said...

I came fom Quilthexle and had my favourite pun ready, until I read Salley's comment - she has my pun!! I will try again when I think of a better one!


Great giveaway

Salley said...

Sorry Benta.... here's another one...

Marjorie was recently inducted into The Appliquer's Hall of Fame.
This makes her a Status Thimble :)

Salley said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Salley said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
SassyCathy said...

Well- this one is pretty "punny" ... Here you go Harley Dude - BBBBRRRRRBDNGDNBDN (that's supposed to be Harley sound)
There was one person who sent ten different puns to the Harley Dude, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make him laugh.
No pun in ten did .. ha ha ah ha
Thank you Mrs. Harley Dude for such a nice giveaway :-)
Have a nice Birthday!
Cathy Byrd
byrd at

Gwen said...

How about this one: A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger." :-) Thanks for this fun giveaway!

Bailey said...

Happy Birthday, Harley Dude!
I saw a sign the other day on the lawn of the rehab clinic, it said "keep off the grass"

Bailey said...

Two silk worms decided to race. They ended up in a tie.

Heide said...

A lot of money is tainted.
It taint yours, and it taint mine.

Loved reading all the puns.

Thanks for the giveaway.

Nice lookin Harley. We sold ours years ago and switched to an RV. Sure do miss the fun we had with that Harley! (That is when it wasn't being a German Shepard and being hauled in the back of our pickup truck back home)(Is that a pun?)

Will have to try the String QAYG. Why didn't I think of that? Great idea.
heidew2003 at yahoo dot com

Heide / Escondido, CA

Nancy Sue said...

I bought a ball last week for my 4 yr old son. I let him pick it out and he came back with a Dora the Explorer ball.

His words: Hey mom, look! It's a Dora ball twice.

Me: What do you mean?

His reply: It's a-dora-ble Dora ball.

He cracks me up! Thank you for the fun giveaway!!!

Tanzie said...

I have just found this blog! These puns have tickled me.. This is one from my elementary teaching days.
A B C D puppies?
M N O Puppies!
O S A R Puppies..
C M P N?
I am following you now!